What does it mean to be an advocate? Why do we do it?
Obviously to advocate is to have a cause which one defends and works to improve the conditions of.
To advocate one runs into adversity quite frequently, and depending on how strongly one advocates for or feels about
the issue or persons being advocated for, it can be pretty nasty. One starts out advocating because he or she feels
there is a need for someone to speak up, or to work for change inorder to help others that cannot do it for
themselves. In the beginning, he or she probably has little inkling that to advocate will change his or her life forever.
such, this is the case for advocates to Defend The Children. We are a particular breed who would rather
be out flying a kite with our children or basking in the sun having a friendly family picnic or a friendly conversation about
planning an upcoming party. Yes, there are many things we would rather do, but we cannot stop advocating no matter if
we are basking in the sun or flying a kite, for in the back of our mind is a thought about a little girl black and blued or
the "Child called It". Once we begin to really advocate we cannot go back to simple, relaxing days, as our thoughts
are only moments away from a child we try desperately to speak for.
There is an inner torture within advocates
against abuse, for we know there is little we can do. We know it is never enough. We know that child abuse
and domestic abuse will never really end. So why do we bother? Because, just maybe, maybe the conditions will
improve... We hope...we pray...we hope and pray again and again. We tell ourselves that our efforts will someday make
a difference and we pray more..and we never stop hoping.
We search on the internet for hours and reach out for
other advocates. We become desperate for a few words of understanding, and for someone to tell us we are right to try.
We learn quite quickly that there is only so much our family and friends are willing to listen to. Therefore our internet
friends become so important. We are here almost as much for fellow advocates as we are for the children.
and report about a little baby's decapitated body found on the roadside, unidentified. We read about a judge letting
a rapist of a 2 year old off claiming the diapered baby seduced the middle aged man where he could not control himself, and according
to the judge the crime was the child's fault. We read about a loving mother being forced to send her precious
4 year old to the father whom she knows molested their child. Our internet friends become even more important
as we feel so much pain for all the hurt we continue to learn about, and we know we have to be civil and law obeying
We gain a bit of comfort and renewed strength to continue when we receive a simple "Thank you" for our
post, or when someone takes their time to share information with us. We are thrilled with the acknowledgement. Someone
hears us. But then, those we think are our friends, our internet friends, may betray us and mock us and we are
left confused. We are hurt. Some may sabatoge our computers, post lies, or send us repeated threats
and verbal abuse. How can we go on when we are pounded lower and lower. We did not abuse anyone. Why
are we under attack? Why have our friends betrayed us?
We begin to doubt ourselves a little and wonder if
it's all useless. But we know it isn't. We are advocating for the most important thing in the entire universe,
human life, human children. We are learning everyday. We learn about the atrocities out there, we learn about
human nature, and we learn that not everyone is who they claim to be.
We learn that even on a website devoted
to protecting children, there are pedophiles and other child abusers and those who protect those abusers posting. Often
times they hide behind fake screen names and begin their contacts under the guise that they are advocates, like wolves in
We learn that to them we are the enemy and they will try to destroy us. We learn people will turn
our words into something we did not and would not say. We learn that there are people out there so full of hate that
their hatred flies off their emails and stings us to the core. It is painful. Their words are painful, unjust,
unwarranted but still painful. While we can wipe our hands of the criticisms about us, what really hurts as we know
first hand, is that the fight we are in to protect the children is being attacked by those dedicated to our failure.
We realize that as difficult as it is to believe, there are many who do not want child abuse and molestation to go
away. There are many who are proffitting from it and to them we are enemy number one. Our victories are their
We learn there really is no safe place for us to discuss things, and that teaches us a little of how a child
feels when he or she has no where to go to be safe. Their attacking us and calling us names, gives us
a little feeling for how children and other victims of verbal abuse feel, only we know what we feel is just the tip of what
real abused children face.
We know fellow advocates, that it is painful to advocate. Sometimes we need a break
from it. In fact we owe it to the children to take all needed breaks and to try to enjoy ourselves. We must never
be too busy advocating for others that we neglect our own precious families.
As we advocate for the children
we should always remember to advocate for the child's best advocate, the protective parent.
These are just a few thoughts
of Defend the Children.Org, right or wrong it is what we feel.
Our hats off to all true child advocates, advocates of protective parents, the brave child
protection workers, good law enforcement, virtuous judges, and the moral politicians that put the best interest
of the children in the forefront...Most of all, Thank you to the Protectives Parents who listen to their children, who are
part of the solution to end childabuse by doing what is right Defend The Children. Thank you all.